It’s Tuesday, which means it’s Shoesday, which means it’s the most important day of the week — the life-changing excuse we’ve given ourselves to justify putting twelve pairs of shoes in our online shopping carts.
Oh, it’s our feet screaming like little piggies in excitement. THEY’RE SO HAPPY. New shoes. Just for them.
We’re creatures of habit, which is one of the reasons why we already have three pairs of white Adidas Superstars and Stan Smiths. BUT, that’s not enough. Never enough. Just like peanut M&Ms. There’s NEVER ENOUGH. Insert Twitter complaint.
Regardless, we treat white sneakers like Brock does Diet Coke. Both are vital to our daily happiness. Dare we break from our routine, we might end up with a headache (for Brock), a panic attack (for Chris in not knowing WHAT to do) and an ugly outfit.