PRE-FALL PREP

Despite the fact that we’re currently debating partaking in a chubby bunny challenge to decide who gets to play DJ while we write this — Christmas music or Lana, quite the dilemma — we’re also doing some ‘research’ for Fall,

a.k.a. our East Dane shopping cart currently has 70 items,

a.k.a. our dreams will soon be DASHED, SHATTERED in all but five minutes when that number dwindles down to the four items we’ll actually buy due to unfortunate realities. For example: becoming a suede-loving hippie is WAY more expensive than we anticipated.

Regardless, here’s what’s in our shopping cart, including any and all outrages excuses we’re using to persuade ourselves to buy everything:

1. More round sunglasses — because sometimes we fall asleep in meetings or long conversations with family, and it’d be so rude if anyone knew. Necessary? Totally.
2. BAGS, BAGS, BAGS, a.k.a. backpacks, totes, and satchels — because, regardless of this recent baggy pants craze, we’re still wearing slim pants, and it looks obscene whenever we have a banana in our pocket to use as a snack for later. Solution? Banana goes into the WANT Les Essentiels de la Vie bag we neeeeeeed.
3. PINS!! — because… they’re just necessary. That’s all. THAT’S. ALL.
4. Belts — because, honestly, WE JUST NEED THIS TURQUOISE EMBROIDERED LEATHER BELT.
5. More cuffs — because it’s important to be able to say “what the cuff?” in any situation, always. Definitely a stretch as an excuse, but never underestimate the power of a horrible pun.
6. Wallets — because we’re on our way to being Oprah-rich (which could easily be the name of her new tea flavor at Starbucks) and we just need new wallets.
7. And oddly enough, CANDLES!! — because we don’t need any more excuses, we just want to shop…