Do you ever find yourself making lists? Yeah, we don’t either. Oh wait, you do? Okay, we do too.
Everyone seems to be making lists nowadays. Our feeds are buzzing with lists. Get it? BuzzFeed. No? Nevermind then.
It’s not like this is new or anything. It’s been going on for a century now — in the two-thousand-teens (is that what we call this decade?) the protocol is to exaggerate everything that you do. A century = a year. Ages = a few months. Like, “oh my god, it’s been like a century since I’ve had this iPhone 5” and “Oh, I know, I love my birkenstocks too. I got them ages ago.“
So, yeah. It’s been a century.
Here’s our list for the rest of the year (amendments surely to come):
1. Meet Ramona Singer for business advice.
2. Buy two pairs of these.
3. Throw a huge 2-year birthday party for our kitten and best friend, Thomas.
4. Volunteer for at least two charities.
5. Buy three packs of confetti. Out of the blue, pour it all over friends.
6. Learn to bake a soufflé. Chocolate? Cheese? Who cares. They’re both fancy.
7. Partake in Beer Olympics against friends. Win.
8. Apply for The Amazing Race. Yes, we’ll win that too.
9. Wear wigs and walk around San Francisco incognito. This one is our favorite.
10. Surprise friends with tons of care packages in the mail. Just because.