January 26, 2017

Chris and Brock of Yummertime in Puerto Rico

Life goals (now) include: owning a house in Puerto Rico (preferably PINK), in addition to winning the lottery and swimming in a pool full of pizza, among other things, of course.

Out of everywhere we’ve been in the past year alone — Croatia, France, Miami, New York, Dallas, Palm Springs — Puerto Rico takes the cake. And it’s a huge cake. A HUGE funfetti cake. Our favorite!

We wore speedos. We got sun burned. We drank mojitos and piña coladas and ate mofongo (fried plantains, mashed up) EVERY SINGLE DAY. And that’s barely scratching the surface.

So, here’s the 411: San Juan Marriott Resort & Stellaris Casino flew us out to Puerto Rico for four (4) days, without prompt or itinerary, urging us to simply experience San Juan. And experience San Juan, we did.

But, with an enormous seaside pool (AND swim-up bar), direct beach access, stunning terrace balconies and the best ‘dragonfruit’ mojitos we’ve ever had, we could have spent our entire time on the hotel property. Our minds have been forever changed with regards to what Marriott can offer. Seriously. SRSLY.

For four (4) full days, we ran around San Juan; and now we’re ready to impart our incredible wisdom.

Here’s our complete San Juan, Puerto Rico City Guide, including tacos with fried cheese on the outside of the tortillas. MINDS BLOWN. FRIED CHEESE ON THE TORTILLAS.

Kabanas — we have to say it one more time… FRIED CHEESE ON THE TORTILLAS. Order any of the tacos. Our favorites were the steak and fresh catch of the day. We were also told their brunch menu is amazing. Try that too!

Santaella — created and run by renowned chef José Santaella AND by far, one of the best food experiences we’ve ever had. Honestly. Truly. Sincerely. Seriously. The entire restaurant is set up almost like a mini ‘jungle’ — check out the photo below. Order the Empanadillas (‘tiny’ empanadas), ‘Morcilla’ Spring Rolls, and Ahi Tuna Mini Tacos to start.

Casa Cortés ChocoBar — part of the Casa Cortés Chocolate group. Almost every item on the menu has a touch of chocolate. THE DREAM. The chocolate’s not overpowering at all; it only enhances the food in ways we couldn’t expect. Order the Gin-Gin ‘Chocolate’ Moscow Mule and Chocolate Grilled Cheese.

Orozcos — super-duper authentic Puerto Rican food. No frills, no fuss. First and foremost, order the mofongo.

La Factoría — a speakeasy with a speakeasy inside of it, and then another speakeasy inside of that. CRAZY! Order the Lavender Mule and the Porto Rico.

Oceano — a three-story venue with beachfront decks on every level. Reminded us of Miami 🙂

Circo — a bar with a bar inside of it, and then a club inside of that. There’s a hip-hop room, an upstairs bar with billiards, and then a club devoted to disco/ house music in the back. This was the most crowded (and fun) gay bar we went to in San Juan; peak hours are 3am on Fridays and Saturdays. 

Old San Juan — our favorite kind of paradise, complete with pastel buildings, palm trees and enormous fortresses around every single corner (well, not the fortresses; there’s only two, but still!). Spend an entire day (at the very least) devoted to exploring Old San Juan. 

Flamenco Beach — considered the 3rd best beach in the world and we didn’t even get to experience it on our trip :'( known for shallow, turquoise waters and amazing diving sites.

El Yunque National Forest — the only tropical rain forest in the United States National Forest System. Don’t go chasing waterfalls… just jump into them! AHHH.

<3 B+C

The Marriott San Juan, Puerto RicoThings to do in Puerto RicoBest Beaches in Puerto RicoOld San Juan, Puerto RicoBest beaches in the worldOld San JuanSightseeing in San Juan, Puerto RicoWhat is there to do in Puerto Rico?Pastel buildings in San Juan, Puerto RicoPuerto Rico beachesSantaella Puerto RicoBest food in Puerto RicoBrock and Chris, of Yummertime, in Puerto RicoCastillo de San Felipe del Morro, San Juan Puerto Rico

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