wherein we dance
with beside cast members from Vanderpump Rules, order lobster for practically every meal and meet so many French men and women that we begin greeting every Uber driver with “Bonjour ALLUMER L’AIR CONDITIONNÉ!” — which, you know, means, “hello, TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING!”
We’re soooooo sophisticated.
We spent 72 hours at Sofitel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills. So, here are 72 reasons why we love the hotel…
HAHAHAHAHAHA. JUST KIDDING, that’s crazy, 72 reasons, WE’RE CRAZY!
Here are 7:
1. OMG, there’s Melrose! Sofitel’s literally two blocks away from Melrose, and practically five blocks away from ‘that famous pink wall,’ which means: SHOPPING AND PHOTOS. Our life was complete for those three days.
2. Ummmm, did we see this restaurant on Real Housewives?! The hotel garden restaurant, Estérel, is fit for a housewife, meaning, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills filmed in their garden and we were left wondering why we were left out of the production. WHY. WHYYYYY.
3. AHHHHH, IS THAT THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN?! meaning, we had a penthouse balcony that overlooked the Hollywood Hills. Watch out, world, WE’VE FINALLY MADE IT.
4. OMG, Becky, look at their butts, they’re SoFit, meaning, the SoFit gym was everything. Everything. Quite possibly the best hotel gym we’ve ever been to. High ceilings, hi-tech equipment and every ‘crunchy-crunch ab’ ball you could imagine. We don’t know what those balls are called, so, that’s what we’re going with. Crunchy-crunch ab balls.
5. We danced for five hours straight at La Nuit. OMG, we were so sweaty. Sofitel had Phases and Samantha Ronson perform, one after the other, leaving us to squeal together because we were so happy. Ronson even mixed in some Destiny’s Child and we were all like this. This. And this.
6. We were able to achieve one of our life’s greatest missions: tanning our pale bodies, c/o a super secluded pool, steps away form the hotel’s main building. Honestly, such a welcome respite from the craze that is LA, in general.
7. AND LASTLY, we ate lobster for practically every meal. V important, meaning we were so shellfish, we ate it all to ourselves. HAHAH. Get it?! Lobster for dinner, lobster benedict for brunch! LOBSTER! And might we add, never overcooked, which is way too easy to do…
Consider this our plea to Sofitel to allow us to move to LA and into the penthouse again.