MAKING MONDAYS BEARABLE SINCE 7AM THIS MORNING

Honestly, there’s just something about Mondays that makes us cringe, makes us feel like crying, whimpering, kicking and screaming, makes us feel like the end of the world has come. THE END OF THE WORLD has come. Every ounce of happiness from the weekend, erased. COMPLETELY ERASED. But, then again, maybe we’re just being super dramatic… it’s totally possible. A little like when we met Lana Del Rey and told everyone that she was basically begging to meet the two of us. Just a little out of touch with reality — only a little, though.

Regardless, Mondays are Mondays are Mondays are Mondays and they just keep coming. Just like a pouty-faced, head-tilted-down Kardashian/Jenner selfie in your Instagram feed. They. Just. Keep. Coming.

On Mondays, we always…

1. GUZZLE a cup of Tiny Footprint cold brew coffee. Practically the only coffee we drink (AND it’s carbon negative!)
2. BLAST Katy Perry. Fact: real men listen to Katy Perry.
3. MASK for twenty minutes because it takes that long to even process one thought, i.e. “wait… did we eat enchiladas last night?”
4. PAT down our baggy, saggy, so-sad eyes with eye cream.
5. SQUIRT eye drops in our eyes because we’re kind of addicted to that minty, tingly, tickly, giggly feeling. Giggly? Yeah, totally giggly.
6. EAT gummy bears all day long. ALL DAY LONG.
7. WEAR sunglasses to block out the entire world.

FYI: we taped all of these items to our wallpaper, because… pink flamingos. Yes. We own pink flamingo wallpaper.