To the detriment of our “Move Out of Our Studio Apartment” savings fund, we bought a $120 tee online last week. It’s hideous. It makes us look like Shrek when wearing it, metaphorically speaking. We mean, it’s not green.
But, something about the price tag (splashed across our shopping cart) warranted to us, “This is a really expensive tee; it must have the ability to sculpt our pizza bodies upon immediate wear.”
It didn’t. Pizza bodies forever.
The cost of clothing is, at best, illogical; and when it comes to basics — tees, even underwear — we’re purchasing for the sake of the brand, not the quality, even when the brand is barely visible. We better be slapped across the chest with a big YSL if we’re buying a tee of the same quality as a Hanes, just slightly better.
Rarely does the price of a basic tee match up to its quality.
The pitch is easy: affordable quality, made in the USA, with a ‘streetwear’ basics aesthetic — meaning, they even have a razor-backed, long tank that we’d expect to see on the male equivalent of Kylie Jenner… is that Tyga… whoever that is… we really dig it. We want to be the male equivalents of Kylie Jenner.
The real gem comes with Nephews’ Round Tee, which is something we’ve yet to (really) see out there across the staples of menswear. Because of its proportions (rounding up at the sides, dipping low at the front and back), we end up looking like we have buffer, broader chests than we really do. YES YES YES. The power of deception, we’re huge fans.